(Development) Waves in silent harmony will soon sing a melody true. Currents guiding along clear walls, separating us from you. Don’t fear the sounds that soothe your fluttering heart. I long to see your face again, caressing your limbs when movement starts. Don’t fear the blackness that greets your panes of glass. My pulse quickens as I dance to yours at long last. A sign of hope, the slightest chance that you’ll be in my arms. Not forever cast into an unforgiving past. And let our souls together weep for those not given a glance. Fluorescence is flowing through me now, you’re bathed in a fluid light. It’s apparent how you’ll seek release, along with sound and sight. It’s almost time. Though you leave, you’ll always be mine, inside my mind. And you’ll taste life, breathe it deep inside. Forever your dreams I’ll guide, until within the abyss we reside. My love will let you go, and watch you as you take flight. As a precious butterfly. I’ll watch you as you take flight. When the vultures cruise the skies. I’ll be a blank slate, a question of what even exists. Be a spectrum of paint, tell of all your pain and bliss. And if you question that I’m real, I’m only you encompassed in what you feel. (Birth) In a moment’s chance, chromatic arcs bind at a glance in a mind full of radiance, as the wings of opportunity fall into the breeze that carries us on this selfless dance. A comforting darkness is now a blinding light of chaotic serenity. Entwined in the figures in which the mind perceives, until the day it leaves. A yearning to prosper is all I’ll need for my convictions to plant the seed. Gathering enlightened fragments I will develop the habits of tolerance. This persistent continuum aviates my sentience above the unbent sapiens of our collective consciousness. (Recovery) Looking through the gray, before the bittersweet dismay, causes the eyes to change and takes the innocence away. I marvel at the rays this light creates. This spectrum is a monarch that foreshadows my days. Through joy and pain, this illusion I will paint manifesting my will to create. Through broken bones and fractured thrones I will find my strength. (Slumber) What will become of this canvas? How will the elements guide me to conquer this planet? Where the sun rises can never be decided. And when it sets I hope this world and I will not be divided. If I am to create the optimal illusion, let me rid my eyes of confusion, deceiving me about myself. A voice once told me it could guide me home, and through this odyssey I would never find myself alone, freeing me from my own hell. Lucid slumber brings vivid stains to white. Dancing colors soothe me as I fall into the night. Into the infinite night.

When her voice became my own, and my heart began to beat alone. I was embraced by the leaves, the rivers, and the growing trees. When his breath breathed air anew, and slumber turned into pursue. I was entwined with the garden, my home an oasis well guarded. Hands caressing sands, waves dance. Obeying thunderous commands. The storm encircles me, calmly, where I stand. This moonlight guides my eyes to sights of pinnacle heights, to scaling mountain sides. I find comfort belonging inside this ride that treks through time, grounded by the light. Igniting the ocean tides, I discover where my pulse resides. Our gentle gift cradled by a hand divine. Suspended in a web intricately woven by, the manifestations within my mind. Projecting this life. Hands to wings as winds to skies. The gift of youth as light to flies. A calling bears it’s answer true. Through silence it’s path winds down to you. To lead is to follow a harrowing, hollow dream. (I’m dreaming, I’m dreaming to dream) This nightmare will send you on a spiraling swing, to bring you down into sleep. (To bring you down into sleep) I can show (the journey to eternity) that I know. I have been where you will go (the pathway to paradise) Never say never, don’t let go now. Never say never, you haven’t showed me how. Never say never, don’t let yourself become phased out. Having tread this route before now, don’t you know that I will face doubt?

Resistance to influence is the essence of innocence. Under fire from your mockery, with desire under lock and key. But I am governed by debauchery, burning all the love I earned that’s smothering the thought of me. The thought of me. And you can’t take it away. This thing within me that brings hate. And you can’t take it away. This beast within that must escape. Let the cusp of completion be the only reason for self induced treason. Embracing depletion. No shame in the changing of seasons. Racing towards the swarm, I embrace the deafening roaring of the horde. Placed and sworn since I was born to overcome and chase the storm. Living within the eye I questioned why I was fed the lie that I am unable to die. And you can’t take it away. This thing within me that brings hate. And you can’t take it away. This beast within that must escape. Indulgence in the perilous has erected my arrogance. Represented by this decadence, a recklessness without a sense of relevance. I will set the precedent for a generation of rebellion. I’m directionless, with a sense of purpose. I’m a storm chaser, that like a fire purges. Seeking embers and ashes to call my own. In the aftermath, I will always find my home. What is left of you Is now within me. Obscured is your view But I know you can see. So I will take it away. The part of you that believes you’re sane. And you can’t take it away. This thing within me that brings hate. And you can’t take it away. This beast within that must escape. So I will take it away. The thing you use to cast your blame. So I will take it away. The part of you that believes you’re sane.

Like a rising tide submerging sands. This vice’s grasp on me buries any helping hands. Will this current ever carry me to shore? Or will it leave me anchored? Gasping for a breath of air, While I’m sinking to this ocean floor. A roaring echo debilitates my mind. A broken radar lost at sea. Captivated by the structured compass that’s thoughtlessly been given to me. And which direction I’m going is still a mystery. It’s still a mystery. Now I am to keep my composure as this levy is breaking. But how can I travel these seas without the serpent awaking. I look to the skies but all I see are clouds in the shape of effigies. Precipitating forsaken rains, drowning us in disease. So I surf the waves of this horizon to chase the sun. Rather than reverting to the source so tomorrow never comes. A source long slipped through the cracks of a broken surface. Seeded in the deepest of soils, in the wonder fueling blackness. A conquest of this land, unfulfilled due to shifting planes. A gluttonous virus endlessly courses through my lustful veins. Damn this default state that I must alter. This numbing venom breaks down every cell. My branches wither as I worship this altar. In this toxic ocean with an unfair story to tell. Polluting my organic being, in normalcy I falter. I rot from the very poison that saved me from myself. Relentless, insisting winds carry my wings throughout this reckless journey. Resisting the wrath within. The smoke dances freely amongst the trees that burn so violently. In which I’ve ignited in a passion full of envy. Cinders fly against the darkened sky that burn from embers to ashes. Trickling down the rocky walls, collecting sediment. My dreams run as deep as these canyons, every darkness unforetold. Without sentiment. Am I to repent for what I am? What of this world for what it’s been? A selective perspective granted, a depth perception snatched away. What of this world that’s been led astray? Am I prideful of my apathy, or just a sloth basking in my thoughts? As I ascend through madness, how long can I bleed for the need of this greed? Damn this default state that I must alter. This numbing venom breaks down every cell. My branches wither as I worship this altar. In this toxic ocean with an unfair story to tell. Polluting my organic being, in normalcy I falter. I rot from the very poison that saved me from myself. Am I to repent for what I am? What of this world for what it’s been? A selective perspective granted, a depth perception snatched away. What of this world that’s been led astray? Am I to repent for what I am? Nothing but disbelief and dissonance. No resolution where I stand. A saturation of connections. Bridging the gaps of a beauty that only few can understand. Only few can understand.

I’ve begun to see that I exist as just a shell of me. And that there is no such thing as “supposed to be”. I want to taste the rain, and bathe away the hate. Drown the pain away in vain, because my name it calls again. Was I doomed from the womb? Cursed, no mercy on my way to the tomb. Or was I put here just to die? In a game in which delusions choose the way we lose. The season change yet I sit here just the same. And though the walls crumble around me, I fixate on the dirt on my hands. I exist but wear my skin as if this is only an illusion. So I wither away at ease. How can I find a way to get back on track, when I am encompassed by the foreplay of death? Healed skin resentfully left, beneath the flaking of my dying flesh. I have not the will for another quest. Calloused! I’ve been fed with a thirst that cannot be quenched. The cracks in the surface now act as braille to my skin. My endurance is tested as my mind races to the beat of my fluttering heart. The reflection grins, not smiles. Uncaring of seconds or miles. Unhazed eyes to shallow scars. Unblinded to what you are. I’m trying to concentrate, but the constant waves of pain, Are breaking away at the fabrication of my foundation. What good is it to contemplate living in a mind where there is no truth to find? I see it all from a distance. A road of memories. I see it all from a distance I can’t hide in reveries. I see it all from a distance The truth and the lies. Bleed onto a page unwritten. My mind forever in disguise. I’m unable to draw the line at what is and what could be. The darkness is a constant remainder and what I am. Shadows unfold through transparency, reflecting upon the shell of me. I’m unable to draw the line at what is and what could be. The darkness is a constant remainder and what I am. Shadows unfold through transparency, reflecting upon the shell of me.

I welcome these wall to embrace me as I sleep, in a form of claustrophobic mercy. My eyes like boards that I’m driving deep. Hammering, till I cannot see. I’m blind, nails are my sight. Your deceitful gaze will be made a fool of by time. Wasted was mine, wondering “why?”. The paradoxical engine of apathy and anxiety. Bears nothing but the breeding of ambiguous thoughts and self loathing misery. Enclosed with me are my comforts and goodbyes. A room with no doors measures a haven of bliss. I refuse to repute the force fed lies compelling my eyes. Partake in your delirious world of ignorance, oblivious to the corruption of bitterness. I never thought I would live to witness this Room to room I roam, seeking a home to call my own in the palace of perception. I stumble on, bouncing wall to wall finding myself in the room of reflection. I’m in a chamber of mirrors, reflecting my fears. Where I thought I’d find my peace of mind. Through the halls I pass, a glimpse through glass reveals where the horizon rears. Since all I see are lies, I’ll stare into the sun until I’m blind. A dreamless slumber should encase this cell around me. Devolving myself into the calloused shell that’s haunting. My sanity, in it’s final bid, renders me worthless. Calling my bluff, this torture becomes masochistic. If I dreamt, let it be sadistic. The cracks in the panes of glass distort what I had envisioned.

Aspiring to inspire is something I no longer desire. The blinding light has set fire to the choir, omitting you as the source. This is my last objection to myself, for my refusal to choose has rendered me relegated to lose. The obligation to bring truth to the masses views, is a hopeless avenue that’s veered me from my course. A plea from a plateau of no heights exudes from inside of me. The breach of shame has no affect upon you in spite of me. Though I leak of blame, I seek solace in the light you shine on me. I think it’s far too late, for every promise was just a lie to me. Like a wretched animal, groveling and begging. You resisted the assistance, now you get no saving. Once just another lifeless corpse awaiting to prevail. But so many times before I have failed. This self destruction completes me as this reality defeats me. Disposition of this disheartened apparition. A dream from the depths of ignorance seems to be apart of you. Your mirage of pride is frivolous, begging me from the start of you. In a facade well tied, you have sought the truth that is far from you. I want what’s mine, on knees for the charity from the heart of you. Unintended protesting to the universe, for what has happened is far much worse. I look to the sky and ask, “Why do the stars fall?” For you I live with this, I’ve given my all. Aspiring to inspire is something I no longer desire. The blinding light has set fire to the choir, omitting you as the source. This is my last objection to myself, for my refusal to choose has rendered me relegated to lose. The obligation to bring truth to the masses views, is a hopeless avenue that’s veered me from my course. Once just another lifeless corpse awaiting to prevail. But so many times before I have failed. This self destruction completes me as this reality defeats me. Disposition of this disheartened apparition. Unintended protesting to the universe, for what has happened is far much worse. I look to the sky and ask, “Why do the stars fall?” For you I live with this, I’ve given my all.

Idle time leaves me in the devil’s hands, for the given is not a gift if we’re to slave away in remand. The leaves no longer fall in the intricate patterns in which they had before. They seem to flock like feathers within a grid, against the tide, away from shore. Seasons blend amidst close minded reasons. No mending with pitiful pleas or greedy demands, uprooting the treasons. The memories begin to fade, adrift the withered petals that fall, sewn through vine and vein. I’ve come to cut the curtain call, my blade reflects to light the stage. I gaze upon the vacant seats with no shame, to end it all. The addiction to regret is a self inflicted debt. How can one forget to live content when stripped of the will to repent? I run away unscathed, unfazed by the barren days. I see no graceful way to escape this wayward place. An encryption on eyes’ lens as thin as ice. This shade now bears a playful glow that is no longer bright. Beckoned through senectitude. Nothing blends at spectrum’s end. Emptiness a hellish bliss. Devilishly taunted by these wicked thoughts and seeking a process to end this all and, “Marry yourself to the blackness!” Their chorus rings on. You’ve succumbed to nothing, imploding through your thoughts, eruption of your mind. What are you trying to find? You’ve sought the answers only to collide into a blank canvas of questions unasked. I fear that near me is death, his icy blade at my neck. Chilled with frost from his frozen breath. These nights are wretched and long, whispering the tombstone’s song. A hymn composed for the graveyard’s throng. My wounds glow bright beneath violet light. This blackish hue is slowly fading from sight. Phosphorescence flowing free from lost time. I confront my demise with my eyes squeezed tight. My mind is skeptic, my body is septic, my spirit is absent within this vortex. Have you not putrified in excess of time? Seduced by the bribe of a life so sublime. Is the rotting of your spoils a process divine? A member of those who suffer together. A slight bond, but we buried alive last forever. My mind is skeptic, my body is septic, my spirit is absent within this vortex. My beings essence is in senescence. A living ghost blindly wandering through this cemetery. Unaware that temporary is the nature of this sanctuary. Denial has carelessly carried me, tearing me from this reality. My identity created carefully, in this moment of clarity. To my surprise, these cadaverous cries do not tell me lies. This cadence of mine, to the end of my life, sings of suicide. In light of this find, I see my time sinking back with the tide. Please settle my mind, before the razor’s slice, and just tell me why. You have been subtly manipulated into passively accepting the changing of the tide. Consentless is this catalyst, this treasonous transition. The endless nights of dreamless slumber reflect the countless times you’ve perished before. If it’s any comfort, the abyss was always where you belonged. The venom has yet to spread. For a few moments longer you will stay a slave to your senses that have sadistically sated your need for deception. The illusion of answers, the delusion of fulfillment, the lie of satisfaction. Your perceived separation from the whole was a frivolity. A picture show. A carnival ride. Until capriciousness deems you worthy of rebirth, you’ll reconnect with nothingness. Your reassimilation begins.

I hear the whispers in the shadows in the drippings of dawn. I’ve felt the rise of every catalytic climax to spawn. What is it to thrive in a paradox? Free of the weakness of duality. Doctrine. Patriarchal tyranny. Only sound like playful words to me. Observing with glee as the offspring begs. Groaking upwards for affection from me. What a pitiful being. Encompassing everything. Do you believe in my fantasy? Blasphemy a construct of the weak. Comedy, merely amusing to me to thrust you to a broken, cold, and temporary life. Worship me, reject me, you must believe in this fallacy. Doomed to find nothing but an overwhelming barren strife. All we share is “I am nothing”. Sifting through the dust the mortals refer to as the universe, I’ve inflicted a curse. Invoking my presence on the mind of mankind, they find the need to recite and rehearse my perverse verses. Repressing their urges to a blinding false light in the sky. Diverting their sight to see through my eyes, hypnotized to be simplified. Along with this, your nemesis is my accomplice to achieving my bliss. Whispering through my lips, our hands grip, scabbing skin. As a schizophrenic, we are one. Alas the veil has been snatched away, revealing your tarnished face. Degrading your name. The only god in which I will ever seek, Wouldn’t pander to the complacent and the weak. The only god in which I will ever believe, Is the devil that exists inside of me. Every moment of pleasure damned to soothe the belly of the vulture. This knowledge is torture. Death, make an overture. Saturation of this culture. Beauty littered across a long trail, a futile roadway to paradise. The oasis is a lie, a mirage tempting the eyes, tormenting in the design. Looking at this world through the eyes of a man. Cursing the father of the creator with broken hands. Sucked into a vaccumous silence, existing of senses nonexistent. Into a plethora of cycles turning, an infinite pattern that’s consistent. Every moment of pleasure damned to soothe the belly of the vulture. This knowledge is torture. Death, make an overture. Saturation of this culture. Beauty littered across a long trail, a futile roadway to paradise. The oasis is a lie, a mirage tempting the eyes, tormenting in the design. How the eyes pierce like beaks, through this hollowed existence. How quickly it senses, death creeping imminent, impending meal entitlement. A daunting wake circles above a sunburned desert path. How they gather for mass, grotesquely dressed in all black, descending upon where you lie last.